This week, Clara chats with Starr Bryson and Kimberly Rose about tips, experiences, and advice on mental health for resellers.
List Perfectly is the ecommerce resource for selling across multiple e-commerce platforms including eBay, Poshmark, Etsy, Mercari, Kidizen, Grailed, Depop, Tradesy, Facebook Marketplace, Instagram, and Shopify.
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Episode Links
Transcript
Clara:
We are live! Good morning!
Starr:
Hi!
Clara:
Hi Starr. Hi Kim.
Kim:
Hello Clara. Hello Starr.
Clara:
Welcome, welcome. Today we’re gonna be talking along with Starr Bryson, our incredible guest. Starr, would you mind introducing yourself to our incredible audience? I know most of them already know you, but we have new incredible people that don’t know you.
Starr:
My name is Starr and I am a full-time reseller. I started reselling because I became disabled and was unable to work outside of the home my life and business partner Keith is also full-time with me and we delegate all of our business and life duties, 50%, and live our best lives as resellers together. <Laugh> It’s really been a journey and reselling is I think the best thing that ever happened, like what I said at the Reseller Remix last year. Becoming disabled was the best, worst thing that ever happened to me that’s brought me to where I am. I guess I should tell you that we resell on nine different platforms and that’s all possible because of List Perfectly. We have a YouTube, we have a Facebook group. We just keep on keeping on…
Clara:
And a Facebook page too.
Starr:
Yeah. I’m on Instagram, although I’m bad with Insta. I’m old and I…
Kim:
Whatever!
Clara:
I’m the same. Don’t worry. I have a team. Okay. To help me. Okay.
Starr:
I’m mentally a dinosaur. And so I’m not good with keeping up on Instagram. I try, I try to at least put out motivational stuff, but…
Clara:
Yes, yes. And I love your motivational stuff. I always talk, I always talk about that Starr. That’s what a great introduction. All right, Kim, give us your incredible introduction please, because your journey is also amazing.
Kim:
My name is Kim. I’ve been a full-time reseller since last November, before that I was part-time and I was part-time for about two and a half years and at that time I was also working outside the home. The yucky job as I like to call it. I just very recently became a member of Team LP, so I am so blessed and blessed to be able, to do my reselling and be able to help List Perfectly. It’s like, it’s like my, my dream life started at 50, you know, <laugh> I mean, seriously, you know, I’, 53, but I, you know, it actually, my dream life actually started at 51, 52, but yeah, it’s you don’t even think about, you know, you start a whole new life. I mean, I was, you know, I had no clue that this is where I would be, and I didn’t know that I would be, be so happy again, you know, again, that comes back to mental health and, and that kind of thing. You, you get to the point where you just, you know, I was at the point where I was like, okay, you know, I’m done. I’m not gonna have another career. I just wanna, I just wanna work until I can retire. I just didn’t know that you know, that I could be discontent. You know, it’s just like everybody else, you know, you still have your moments and that’s life, you know, that’s, that’s what makes us human. Don’t ever think that there’s not a light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah. You may not see that light. It may be really small, but it’s always there.
Starr:
But you know what? Your worst day ever as a reseller is still better than your best day working for someone else.
Kim:
Oh my goodness.
Clara:
Wow. Powerful.
Kim:
You are so wise.
Starr:
I thought the same thing like I just thought this, I used to work a hundred hours a week and I loved taking care of people. I was a caregiver and I took care of people and I loved it. But I was killing myself for someone else. And I thought that was it. This is what you do with your life. Yeah. You work yourself to the bone, you work yourself to death. And if you’re lucky, you get five good years before you die with a little bit of money and no job.
Clara:
Wow.
Kim:
Exactly.
Clara:
No, exactly.
Clara:
There is a better life, right? And it’s called the reseller life. Now. Not everything is what is, what is it? What do we call it? A bed of roses or, you know, everything is really perfect, you know, and we’re all happy. <Laugh>, you know, no, it’s not like that. Reselling could be also intimidating for those of you that are alone because it could bring a lot of insecurities. Those insecurities, if you are not surrounded by the right people are gonna become okay, a fear. And now you’re gonna start making decisions based on fear. And when you are an entrepreneur and self-employed, making fear-based decisions will hurt you financially, and emotionally. And the worst part is physical because it’s incredible how fast we can heal physically, but healing emotionally. That’s a whole different thing. You know, as a co-founder of List Perfectly myself, you know, to give you just a little feedback about me and this topic and why I’m, I’m so excited to talk about this because I believe like Starrr said, my life prepared me for this.
Clara:
Unfortunately, for one year and a half only, I was so rambunctious that I fell from a two-story. And there was a sidewalk there and I fell head-on. Okay. And those that know me personally, will see the scar. They used to call me Scarface all my life. And you know how it is when you go to high school, the trolling and bullying. I started to develop agoraphobia, which is a fear of getting out of the house. At two, chronic anxiety is not acute. Okay. Just by the age of three. And then, of course, depression manifested by five, six, already. Keep it up to that. Okay. I lost my father, okay, at nine, that didn’t help things. So having those challenges, I’m living in a third-world country. Literally my happy place, I would picture myself speaking English. And literally, I would picture myself being here. And of course, I didn’t have money to pay for English classes back then. So what I wanna say is that you have three people here. Okay. You’re in a safe place. Okay. I’m gonna tell you why that story in Argentina is relevant today. Because if I wouldn’t dreamed that I was speaking at that time was gibberish. Okay. So I didn’t even speak, I didn’t speak, learn English until I was 20. Okay. They told me, you are too old to learn English. You will never learn.
Kim:
They didn’t know who they were talking to. <Laugh>
Clara:
And I, that, and that’s how I ended up studying law. I believed this person and I kid you not a hundred percent true story. I took Amanda to my city. Okay. To get to know, you know, where I came from, my friends, my family, la la la. Right. And I kid you not, we’re walking in a very popular place in my little province. And we meet that teacher that told me, you will never learn English. And I ask Amanda, can you pull your most, British accent and speak as fast as you can and say, tell her, how, how is she doing? And I’m gonna be “hi teacher.'” And I went to her hi teacher, how “are you? And she knew exactly who I was. And Amanda went like that. Can you believe it? Ask Amanda when you see her on Reseller Remix, she was saying, she couldn’t even say thank you. Or, oh, how are you back? You know, she couldn’t even say that. So it’s incredible. The hurdles that you will have. As a former lawyer, imagine when I told my mother that I was coming to the USA, you know, I was supposed to go to Canada where I’m a, I’m a judge and a lawyer. No. I told my mom I’m staying in the USA and I’m gonna be a cashier at Target.
Starr:
I worked at Target too. No shame.
Kim:
I worked at Walmart.
Clara:
A cashier in Target. Okay. That’s what allowed me to take the tests in banking and I couldn’t even speak English. And I was accepted okay by big banks because I passed all the tests. Of course. I was like, yeah, I got down, you know, lending with collateral, no collateral. That was easy peasy for me. So imagine that okay? If it wouldn’t have been for that, for that journey, and I’ll never forget, 2008, when, you know, the banking crisis came okay, along and people were losing houses left and right. I was signing, you know, adjustment of terms for people not to lose their houses with both hands. Okay. And I’ll never forget, you know, and most people were just adding more debt to people, you know, which is called predatory lending. And I’ll never forget, you know, I was seeing that behavior and, and I was like, okay, we’re in such an abundant country.
Clara:
There is no need, okay? To go around the rules or under the rules or above the rules. Okay. To get something done and go figure that that would be the main point with Amanda’s resellers. When we’re switching from resellers to List Perfectly. And we are like, are we, are we gonna get investors? And that’s why Amanda jumped like Starr. And she’s like, no, I don’t think I can have people telling me what to do. How, and I, and I, and I told her you for years and Amanda, you’re not gonna do good. You’re not gonna do good. You’re not gonna do good. And it was a breaking point Star. It was bad because she wanted investors. She was obsessed with investors and we didn’t do it. And here we are. And now I want investors and it’s like, no, I’m okay. I’m doing great.
Clara:
I love my independence. I love talking, we can pivot with List Perfectly. Like if, like when you were a reseller, you know, let me see. The glasses are not working. Okay, great. I’m gonna sell pens. Do you know? So that’s what we did. That’s what we, that’s why we stick with not investors in one truth is that Amanda is diagnosed with ADD, attention deficit disorder. As you can see, I have hyper attention deficit disorder. I’m very hyper. Okay. So that’s how we bring balance to each other. And that’s what we’re talking about. I was just reading an article, Starr and Kim, you know, and as much as I could disagree a lot with Elon, you know, he was talking about going through a divorce with his parents. Okay. He created a very strong bond with his siblings and that was their support group. And thanks to that, he carried that through his adulthood. So he is always surrounded only by people that believe in him and support his ideas. You know, when we started, I also had a mental breakdown, six months and one year, because I was freaking out, I had no insurance, my 401k or IRA, wasn’t getting, you know, new invested funds in, I wasn’t having a paycheck. I freaked out. I freaked out. How did you do in your first year when you were reselling, whether it was full-time or part-time?
Starr:
I think for me, it was a little bit different because, and I said this when I was on your podcast, if you’ve already heard the story, I apologize. But Keith started this for himself. This was something he was building because he wanted to quit the corporate world and work for himself and have his own business. And I was involved as much as a disinterested girlfriend was at the time, I’d go to the bins with him, and I’d pay some attention. I named the Hippo Hut, which became Flipping Hippos. But when I got hurt at work and they denied to give me light duty and I ended up having to sue them for worker’s comp, I could not work outside of the home because there’s no way, no, one’s gonna give me as many breaks as I need or not fire me for calling off all the time.
Starr:
So he said, why don’t you just take over? And so he showed me everything I needed to learn on how to list on eBay, cuz back then we were only listing on eBay. There was no social media. And he taught me how to list on eBay. And we started thrifting together. He’s such a good guy cuz I took what he was creating for himself. And I became a full-time person. And then it took us another two years to build it together to where he could quit his job and join me. I had a lot of support. I was very, very, very lucky that I had a Keith I had for Keith. And he was very supportive, but it was a struggle for me because I lost my sense of person. I lost a sense of who I was because I was always a caregiver. I was always busy. I was always a workaholic. I was always…
Clara:
Oh on the go, on the go.
Starr:
Yeah. And I, I was used to, if I wanted more money, I worked more hours. I would work a hundred hours a week and I would bring home, you know, double time, holiday, pay time and a half. And if I wanted more money, I just put in more hours and that’s not how it works when you’re building a business.
Clara:
Sure. Sisters, I swear you tell your story and I’m like, okay, what she’s saying, I hear.
Starr:
Yeah, it was a struggle because I knew I could put in more hours in the work and it would eventually…but it wasn’t immediate, oh look, here’s a $5,000 paycheck for all your overtime. And I lost my sense of who I was, but I had to regain a new me. So that was when I started YouTube cuz I thought, well, if I can’t take care of people, maybe I could teach people. And it’s kind of the same thing. So teaching and caring. So I had to create a new me that was okay with not contributing to the world in such a big way that I was like a, you know, a nursing assistant, but this is different. So I struggled a lot more, not so much financially because we did really well. And the first year actually, but more struggling to cope with the fact that I was no longer who I had been. My whole life, my dad was the head of radiology. My mother was an RN and I started in healthcare, volunteering at the age of 14. So yeah…
Clara:
Yeah. Yeah.
Starr:
I took a few breaks here and there. As I said, I worked at Target. I took two years off in freelance writing from home cuz you can get caregiver burnout, so you have to take breaks. But other than those breaks, my whole life was caregiving. So I had to, I guess find a way to make this just as fulfilling. And once I let go of it, I guess it was feelings of failure. I, you know, and as you said, I was young. I was like 30. I can’t do the math. I was 38 or 39 when I first got hurt. I’m 44 now. But yeah, I was like, I’m disabled for the rest of my life. My back does not function. There are 80-year-old women who can do more than me.
Clara:
Right. And they’re running frigging marathons. They go, I’m gonna, oh I swear. You know, it’s incredible. And then, oh you have Amanda never get sick. I swear. I don’t know what they did in the military to Amanda. The woman doesn’t get sick. Never.
Starr:
Keith doesn’t get sick either, ever. He doesn’t have allergies. He does have migraines though.
Clara:
Oh…
Starr:
We both have those. But once I learned to let it go, like let go of the notion that you have to work outside of the house, you have to contribute. You have to be something with a job that’s important to you. I guess that’s what I’m trying to get to. Like maybe I felt like your importance as a person was what you did for a living or what your title was. Because we’re all led to believe that. I think that if you don’t go to college if you don’t have six figures, you don’t have a title. If you don’t have some, if you’re not this if you’re not that. And I, now I look back and I’m like, I wish I could have embraced this sooner because you know what? I’ll sleep till noon if I want, I’ll just work later. I don’t care. I don’t need any kind of fulfillment from anybody but myself now. So…
Clara:
Yeah, exactly.
Kim:
You don’t need validation from anybody else.
Clara:
Yeah, absolutely Kim. But Starr, how did take that leap of faith with Keith and you know, having a family, RN and you know, and, and you know, medical and everybody, how did you do to take that leap of it and say, Hey not only curious about reselling e-commerce, but I think this person and I could be good for each other. How did you do that?
Starr:
<Laugh> very easily. He was my best friend for 20 years. So…
Clara:
There you go.
Starr:
He was my best friend for a lot of years and he was there during some unfortunate times. I don’t know how personal I wanna get. Cuz you guys know I’m a very private person. I keep stuff close.
Clara:
No, no go private.
Starr:
But I’ve been through a divorce. I’ve been through some kind of bad spots in my life and he was there through all of it and he was my friend.
Clara:
Oh really?
Starr:
I guess about 10 years ago now he just kind of was like, you know, after I left my husband, everything, he’s just kinda like, I know we’re both friends, but I’m in love with you. And I’m like, I’m with you too. It just kinda happened naturally. Like just kind of naturally progresses.
Clara:
You make that decision, not chasing the money. And I couldn’t, again, we’re twin sisters. I swear because that’s the way I made my decision with Amanda. You know, here I am making all this money in banking I was doing. Right. Okay. They gave me a severance package. I was like literally playing Rock Band all day. Okay. So that’s how I met Amanda. That’s when I met Amanda because I had so much time to do barbecues and the social and the, I remember, you know, I saw how she was running in commerce and she tells me, oh, I just came, came back from a two month holiday with my mom, from Europe. We went from Norway all the way to Italy. I was like, you gotta be kidding me here. I am to make, I don’t know, $120 an hour. I have to deal with 25 different bosses they’re always arguing with each other.
Clara:
Okay. And when they make a mistake, okay. They blame it on you. Okay. So, yeah. And I was like, I’m done, I’m done. This is not good. I was very thankful for the banks. You know what they did for me, but it was time to follow. I follow, like you said, Starr, my, there was something about Amanda’s peace of mind. I was like, I want that. I want that. Do you know? And I was like, and I saw her business model, you know, me of course, you know, as a banker. Okay. I was like, okay, this is highly scalable. Okay. Highly scalable. Okay. There is meat on the bone for everybody. And when Amanda told me ecommerce is big enough for all of us, that’s when my, because coming from real estate comes from being a lawyer. Okay. I was that ignorant when I met Amanda, the story is I felt so bad for her that I could pay for her lunch, for her drinks.
Clara:
And I would be like, Hey, she’s a cool person. But I was like, okay, let me pay. You know, I was like, because I felt like she wasn’t my ignorance and the woman was doing great. I did my analysis. This is the future. How would I explain? 13 years ago, eCommerce was recession-proof because I have anxiety. Okay. A lot. Okay. And I manage it and I’m gonna explain how I manage that anxiety. I had to put myself first and I came from Argentina where recession and inflation is a constant. So I was running away from that. Not that I don’t thrive on that, but I just wanted to finally get out of the survival mode and get into the thriving mode. And that’s what I found on reselling. I found myself thriving every day, thriving. I wasn’t anymore making decisions out of fear. What do you think about that Kim, especially you that you’re so young on this journey, please?
Kim:
That, you know what you said about thriving and surviving, you know, my, the last seven or eight years of my corporate job that I had before there was zero thriving. I mean, there were just, I was just trying to get done with each day. And like you said, surviving, I mean, you hit the nail on the head with that. Yeah. And I mean, you said it one time, you said it’s like, I’ve been reborn. You know, when I left that job and started reselling, it’s like a whole different life. I mean, I feel like I have a purpose now. I didn’t, sorry. Yeah. I just, I didn’t, I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. Yeah. You know, I had no purpose. It affected every aspect of my whole being. I mean, when you don’t feel like you have a purpose, you go into depression, anxiety, and all of that is just elevated that much more.
Kim:
Yeah. And, and I, I had, I had been that way for so long that I didn’t know that, that there was any other way. I thought that was what things were gonna, you know, and I had accepted it and that’s when I was saying, you know, once I got out of that environment yeah. And started getting all this amazing support and making, making friends that actually support you and being in that environment, it’s like, oh my gosh, I didn’t know life could be like this when you reach that point. I don’t know. I can’t even describe the feeling because you don’t take anything for granted. Every single day you appreciate it. I had gratitude before, but it wasn’t for things that I have gratitude for now because I hated my job. I hated where I was. I didn’t like the people I worked with there wasn’t much in that area to have gratitude for. I mean, I was, I was, I had gratitude for the fact that, you know, I had a great family and my mom was supportive and that my car would start every day and my house didn’t burn down. You know, that kind of thing.
Clara:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Survival mode instead of thriving. And that’s what I’m, that’s what I’m talking about. You know, it’s a sensitive topic because for me, reselling has been therapeutic. Okay. That’s what it’s seemed that when Kimberly is saying, I lost my sense of purpose too, in banking. I was lucky that I found it because I was literally saving people’s houses left and right. That’s why banks called me back. Okay. I didn’t do fraud. Okay. I watched for my customer’s best interests. Okay. And the bank took, the bank took care of me. I couldn’t be. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, Citi. Okay. Thank you so much. Okay. But you know, and thank you to all of them, to Bank of America, to Chase, Chase, another incredible bank that I worked with, you know, but I lost the purpose for me. I helped so many people. And after 12 hours of working is not the same as 12 hours of working for yourself. Let me tell you right now and let me tell you, that’s a fact whether you’re making mistakes, whether you’ve got the right, the wrong products.
Clara:
And you know, so the thing is that, you know, we all have been there, you know, so for, for us, okay. We really want to get deeper, you know, we’ve done a great intro, but certainly, we’re gonna be talking about, you know, the insecurities that come okay. Or sometimes when we overdo things as a reseller because here’s the fact, okay. And this is, you know, 30 years of therapy. Okay. You’re living in the past. You worry about the past. You’re gonna have depression. That’s simple. You worry about the future. Okay. You’re, you know, thinking, okay, should I have dissipated this? And if this is happening, no that’s anxiety. Okay. And if you are depressed, what do you, what do you get? Awareness. All right. You’re leading contentment. Yep. There you go. And it’s an exercise. Some people can do it easier like Keith, and Amanda.
Clara:
Okay. They just, have the skill. I call it, you know, Amanda calls it a happy place. Oh my God. That woman can go to a happy place in 0.1 seconds. Okay. And it’s incredible, you know, and it’s an exercise and she helps me, but she’s being like, she does this natural meditation that she does, you know? And like you said, Starr, I had a great mentor when I started as a reseller, a mentor that helped me to make decisions out of strength and not fear and that’s what I’m that’s when you see me helping so many people. Okay. Because I had that. I have to give that back. I think that you know there is a saying that I wanna look, I wanna share right now. Okay. And this is, doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Just keep this in mind.
Starr:
I think I’ve shared that on Instagram.
Clara:
Oh really?
Starr:
I think so. Yeah. and it’s true because if you doubt yourself, you’re never gonna try, but if you fail, you learn how to do it right the next time. And that’s how you win. I like to fail because it means I’m learning.
Clara:
Thank you. And then we get emotional and then we get into this circle of, you know, self-defeat. I’m not enough. Things are gonna work out the way it is. You know, I should just go back and work for someone else because I can’t take this level of risk. I have a family, my dog or whatever it is. Okay. So, you know, it’s a circle, it’s a vicious circle that you’re going, you know, and you need to, the only way you’re gonna get out is by addressing, talking about it. Number one, with people that you feel safe with, I would not be talking about this topic. Okay. With people that <laugh>, I wouldn’t go live okay. With people that I don’t feel safe with. Alright. So this is important. I just wanted to address the importance of surrounding yourself with people that believe in you and those, that family and friends that don’t okay. Just develop a thick skin, just know you can’t, you’re not gonna change them.
Starr:
And if they wanna think, I honestly don’t know what they, they, cuz Keith’s family, doesn’t grasp the concept of what we do. And I’m like, how do they think that I’m going on all these trips and paying our bills and moving to Florida and getting a new place and new furniture, like, are, are we just waving a magic wand and creating money?
Kim:
I think you’re in the mafia or something. I dunno what you think
Clara:
You believe my family told me, but Hey, don’t you think you’re gonna get in trouble, you know, with, with the feds or something, you know, like,
Starr:
You know, his grandmother actually accused us of tax fraud when you’re money. And we’re like, yeah. Do you wanna see what we paid the IRS?
Kim:
No kidding.
Starr:
That’s another, that’s another sign of success folks. The more you see the IRS, the more successful you are.
Kim:
If anything, you’re…
Starr:
We’re never gonna change their minds. We’ve kind of been discussing, maybe moving back up there. I, wow. I haven’t even said this on my own channel yet, but Keith’s grandfather got sick and it wasn’t anything fatal, but it was enough to think, wow, what if it was worse? Yeah. And we were trying to move to Arizona next year, but I think we’re probably gonna be going back up there so he can be closer to his family for now. Nothing has to be forever.
Clara:
Yeah.
Starr:
But when we just made this choice, we went through and got pre-approved for a mortgage up there and everything. And then we were like, we know what we’re gonna do. So maybe we’ll just rent. Well, his grandmother calls us, and she’s got all these one-bedroom, $500 rent and bad neighborhood apartments lined up. And I’m like, do you think we’re like, I think they think that that’s what we can afford, and yeah.
Clara:
Yeah, yeah.
Kim:
Yeah. Just bring your tent and your sleeping bag and…
Starr:
Three and four-bedroom homes, come on people. And they’re like, you can afford that. <Laugh> they just don’t understand. So you just have to sometimes pick up that people aren’t gonna get it and they’re never gonna get it. And thank them for the numbers for the one-bedroom apartments. <Laugh> Just go on with your, you know, because some people are just never going to understand.
Clara:
No. Can you believe, it?
Starr:
You can’t change other people. So you either have to learn to like him, and his family and we love them. So we’re not gonna get rid of them. But if you do have friends that are toxic, and that don’t understand, you do have the option of finding new friends.
Kim:
Yeah, exactly. <Laugh> And see, I’m very fortunate in that way, because I actually grew up, excuse me. I grew up in a family where, I mean, I was going yard sailing when I was still in my mom’s womb. Literally, I asked her one day, and I said, so I was, I wasn’t even born yet. Right. And you got, you and dad were going out yard sailing. She said, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it’s just something that’s, you know, in the beginning, my dad has always been a wheeler-dealer and he enjoyed it. So when he retired from the military, that was what he did. Do you know? So I’ve been very fortunate that my immediate family, like my parents and everything, have been extremely. I mean, they love it. My mom, and my dad passed away before I started doing it, you know, but I know he would, he’d be getting the biggest kick out of all of this seriously. And my mom just loves it. She’s so happy. And she’s, she’s the one that gives me inventory.
Clara:
<Laugh> yeah.
Kim:
So…
Clara:
<Laugh> that Duran Duran t-shirt.
Kim:
Thank you, mom.
Clara:
We’re having right now, some people sharing how they manage depression with CBD plus got joint pain under control, which helps a lot. I love being a reseller, but I do get a little anxious with all my inventory around the house. What if I tell you? And I have no shame to say, what if I tell you that I’m under the influence of marijuana right now? Right now? Every day. Okay. Every day. That’s how I manage.
Starr:
No judgment here.
Clara:
Yep. Thank you.
Kim:
<Laugh> OK. I’m jealous. I’m jealous. I’m in Kansas.
Clara:
Okay. CBD, not THC. Okay. But yes, I’m passed way past. Okay. The CBD, I used to do CBD back, you know early thirties here and there. When I, after a marathon or something like that. And there was like a CBD ointment. Okay. And you know so that I’m very familiar. It works great, but don’t be afraid to those of you that CBD maybe you’re like, oh, didn’t do anything to me. Tried THC medically. Don’t go recreational. Okay. Don’t waste your time. You don’t need to get like I say, salami, you know, <laugh> functional there. Different types of THC for muscles, passing, anxiety, or for increasing appetite also reduce blood pressure. I’m not smoking it. I use a vape system. Okay. Where I can do the vapor only. So yes. I just wanna put that, what can I say? You know, it’s a pink elephant that nobody wants to talk about it, but no, I hear like, I, when I, I hear people saying the marijuana is the gateway to heroin, are you kidding me? <Laugh> I’m like, I’m sorry. Marijuana has been the gateway for me to become a multimillionaire, you know? And then help me ask people. Okay. To incredible to people like Starr, like, like, like like Kimberly. Okay. Like, I have employees, I have kids that depend on me. I have to make sure I have 401ks and all that stuff. All I can say is there are so many tools. Not only do I do THC to manage that, but I also use Facebook group support groups, for whatever. For example, I have osteoarthritis. That’s the name of my condition. Okay. And I’m, it took over my spine. It deformed everything. It deformed my neck. After it was done with my cervical to cover my thorax, after it was done with my thorax, it took over my lumbar. And after the lumbar, it decided to take over my little sciatica, which that’s the one that, that doesn’t let me literally move the leg.
Starr:
That’s where my injury is. And that, mine is in the L five.
Clara:
What if I tell you that’s the easiest? Once I learn how to decompress sciatica, the neck one is just, oh, do you see everything I own has neck protection, everything, everything, my whole house. I have an orthopedic bed. You name it I invest okay for that. You know, and that’s one thing I can tell you have Facebook groups. Okay. For anxiety, for osteoarthritis. All right. I also do pain management with audiobooks. All right. Because you are always with pills, we always say less is more, that’s a rule. Less is more. So I do that with pain management, whether it’s anxiety, whether it’s lumbar pain, whether it’s neck pain, I have a lot of right shoulder pain. So that’s why I use a lot of dictation tools. I also use an app that is called calm C A L M.
Clara:
Okay. Oh, the lady Tamara. Okay. And now we’re gonna breathe in and breathe on, you know, she’s, I love her, you know, she’s so calming. We’re gonna address our insecurities, our anxieties, and we’re letting them pass by. We look, I know she’s so amazing at guiding you, has your mind travel and get away, you know, come back gently. And she guides you with so much love. So I have a lot of tools so I can cope. Okay. With anxiety in way that I don’t have to, because it’s so easy to pick up the phone and say, hi, doc, can I have more meds? And believe me, I qualify. I qualify for anything I want. Okay. Obviously, and that’s not the solution. That’s not the solution. More pills and or pill lists are not only a solution, you have to surround yourself with people that believe in you. You have to have a job. As Kimberly said, that has a purpose. You have to have a sense of independence, like start likes. You know, and I think those are the things, you know, that make our condition less painful. What do you think? You have such similar ailments and conditions as me.
Starr:
THC is not for me, but I don’t judge anyone that does, it’s just not for me. But I spent two years on opiates when my injury first happened and that’s not for me either. So I have just learned how to kind of mind over matter. Yeah. so I have chronic back pain. I have debilitating chronic migraines. I have horrific allergies, which affect migraines. Of course, I have insomnia. I have anxiety. I have OCD. These are all diagnosed. And I have PTSD. Some situations I’ve been through in my past mm-hmm <affirmative> and I don’t, I don’t like anti-anxiety meds. I don’t like sleeping pills. They make me feel like a zombie. And I was telling Kim yesterday. Yeah. When I take anti-anxiety meds that I used to, I don’t take them anymore. Yeah. I felt hungover or drunk all the time or just sleepy. I will take sleeping pills sometimes. Like, if it’s been like seven days since I’ve had a good night’s rest and it’s four in the morning and I’m reading two books and I’m just like over it and I need sleep. Yeah. But then I felt weird for two days. Yeah. And they scare me because it’s probably my true crime obsession. Yeah. But I’ve always been afraid that if I take a sleeping pill and I pass out too hard, someone’s gonna come in and kill me. <Laugh> <laugh>
Speaker 5:
Fear based, ay ay ay.
Starr:
And I’m not gonna wake up. So what I have tried to do is find ways that I can manage all of these things that I deal with every day in a way that doesn’t require any drugs or medication. Yeah. In my thirties, I drank a lot for a brief period of time because I was self-medicating to go to sleep and upon my anxiety. So I don’t wanna do any of that anymore. So I do read a lot if you like to read books. Yeah. It’s a very good way to relax. I lay on a heating pad in my bed. I sleep on a heating pad because of my…
Clara:
Love it, my favorite.
Starr:
Love my heating pad. And then…
Clara:
I wanna get an ice bag. Okay, too. Okay. But yes.
Starr:
Yes. So I lay on a heating pad and I read on my phone so I can dim the light very, very dark. And it’s not a physical book. I don’t have to have the line on or worry about where the book’s gonna go when I’m tired. <Laugh> I’ll read myself to sleep. But before I go to bed, I work on the Simon dot paintings.
Clara:
Oh, can you please? Yes. Alright.
Starr:
So they’re dots and I have a baby Yoda, one that’s completed. I have a Michael Myers. This is it. They’re like $12 a kit on Amazon. Oh, okay. You get all the beads you need and the background and the glue and the pen, all the tools. But basically, it’s a color by number, but they’re these little dots. Okay. And I’m gonna tell you for somebody with O C D and anxiety, these are great because you have a pen and you’re picking up a dot and you’re putting it on and the dot and you’re putting it on and you’re doing the same repetitive thing. So it’s repetitive. And it feeds that O C D it’s just like, now I’m moving onto the blue and now I’m moving onto the orange and it’s, so it soothes and feeds the O C D. But the anxiety level goes way down because you’re just focusing on your picture.
Starr:
And I put my true crime on while I’m doing it or Disney movie, cuz I’m eclectic. And I like both. <Laugh> but I’ll do that before bed. I read, I take time off of work to play video games or watch movies with Keith. So I make sure that I’m doing things that fuel the escapism, that fantasies, you know, everyone needs that. So whether it’s TV for you or movies or video games, I think everyone needs, you need time away from work to relax, but you also need escapism. Everyone needs to read Harry Potter once in a while or watch Marvel or Star Wars. It’s healthy. So that’s one of the things I do at night to help with insomnia. I read, I make sure I take time for myself. I don’t work myself to death. I’m not, I don’t work for myself so that I can work a hundred hours a week and do nothing else and never enjoy my money.
Starr:
I work for myself so that I have time to enjoy my life and enjoy my money and the things that buys. So I do take time off. I make sure that I do self-care. So I wash my face. I said that to him on the show yesterday. I make sure my face every morning and night and I get products that I like. Yes, that’s good for my skin. That makes me feel good. And then I moisturize and look pretty. If you like makeup, put makeup on. If you don’t like makeup, buy yourself some oil of away and put it on it before you go to bed at night, your skin will feel great condition your hair, dye your hair, you know, but take time to do some kind of pampering to yourself. And dudes are like Starr. So all the dudes watching, you can do this too. You can shave your face or you can get a new haircut. You can, I don’t know what a dude’s do wax?
Kim:
Wax your chest. No, I don’t know, what maybe?
Starr:
<Laugh> ring. No <laugh>. Yeah, but I do find that when you take time to pamper yourself or just treat yourself too, like, it doesn’t have to be like a skin cream or buying your hair, get an ice cream once a month, even if you’re healthy and you watch what you eat, everything in moderation is. Okay. So yeah. You know what? My new kick is. They have these little cake bites and they’re so tiny and they come in a pack of three. Yeah. And so Keith and I will get those and on the weekends, we’re that one pack that we share. We each eat one and we split the third one. And it’s just a nice little treat, but we don’t eat like that all the time. Yeah. But get yourself a burger or something. You know what I mean? Like just taking time off of work to relax and do something. You enjoy eating something bad for you. Once in a while.
Clara:
Yes.
Starr:
The rest of the…you drink your water, exercise, go for walks, talk to friends. There’s just, I found so many different ways to cope because I am so. And like I said, if you take medications and you need them or you do THC, no judgment for me. But for me personally, I don’t want any drugs. I take enough. Sorry. I take enough for my blood pressure and my allergies and my headaches and everything else. I don’t want extra meds. Yeah.
Clara:
So yeah. That’s how I feel with more when they tell me, oh, do you, do you need more milligrams? Like, I don’t need more. You know, I’m like, okay, glad I, okay. Meditate, breathe, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. So one of the things that you are gonna be dealing with as a reseller is that you’re gonna be taking a lot of risks that you have never taken before. So I just wanted to just share this. You know, for those of you who meditate, of course, I’m close to Sedona. Of course, I learned to <laugh> Sedona, it’s beautiful to meditate. I couldn’t meditate for the heck of it took me like 10 years. Okay. But forget about the label of meditation. All I can tell you is breathing, breathing techniques. Okay. There you have videos on YouTube. You have people, you have apps that will help you like calm C A L M.
Clara:
Okay. But you would be surprised even if you’re a cool cucumber how much breathing will help you. You’re negotiating with someone that is gonna sell you some when you’re sourcing, before you make an offer, breathe, you gotta return. And someone, the person is telling you that you sent them something broken and you knew that is, that is intact. Breathe. Okay. <Laugh> pardon? Okay. Do you have a message? I’m calling you names. Okay. Hey, you’re stupid. Haven’t you realized that your product is being offered by 8,000 sellers for half of what you’re selling? Ha ha. Right? We all got those messages, right? Breathe. Well, all I can say is breathe.
Starr:
It’s good to vent too sometimes. So I think this goes back to what Kim and I were talking about yesterday. There are certain Facebook groups you don’t feel comfortable when you’re new or asking questions or venting. There are three really good groups. Mine, List Perfectly and BOSS Up, and you can go in there and you can vent. Like we all know, okay, professionally you just counter and move on. Right. But sometimes I, and people attack you like, oh my God. Just move on. I and move on all day long. And sometimes I wanna call people a bitch, OK? Or more colorful language Kim I’m sure has heard, but…
Kim:
<Laugh>. Yeah.
Clara:
And then you type, I’m not a thrift store. I’m so sorry. I’m not able to meet your offer. You know…
Starr:
They sent their message: this is used. It’s not new. And so I countered and said, and all of our prices take condition into account and we offer free shipping. Thank you for your interest.
Kim:
<Laugh> yeah.
Starr:
I say it in a snotty voice, but you know, they’re, it’s professional, but yeah. Yes, you should counter all your things and you should be professional with your buyers, but have a friend that you can vent to and swear at. It doesn’t matter how much I tell you on my YouTube channel, be professional. I’m not always professional. Either behind the scenes. I’m calling people names and I’m swearing.
Clara:
A lot of my past friends, I call them my current friends. It’s just, that I don’t connect. They don’t understand. They call me on a Friday at 10:00 PM and I’m exhausted guys. I went live and they don’t understand. They think I don’t wanna hang out with them anymore, but I have grown out of the part of just working from Monday to Friday and then going to the bar, you know, at 10:00 PM on a Friday, you know, and being up maybe until one. I’ve I have grown out of that, you know, or I don’t know what to talk, you know, when we get together and, and they’re just doing shots or <laugh>, you know, not interested, you know, it’s like in, you know, it’s like, I have grown so close to my research community that I’ve grown apart. If you wish with my beautiful friends and they are my friends, okay.
Clara:
They just, I feel they don’t understand what I’m doing or if they do understand, they wish they think it is unhealthy. And I shouldn’t be helping so many people and I should be helping myself. And they think I’m not helping myself. <Laugh> and I’m like, seriously. I’m like, okay. And that’s a thing, you know, that I found with reselling when you were talking about purpose Kim whether you’re reselling pre-owned that I call it pre love. Alright. Be careful with the words. Okay. And because your thoughts will become your actions. Your actions will become your present. Your present will become your future. Okay. Be careful. So be very careful with your thoughts. Your thoughts are like clothing. You can choose it. You don’t think I have insecurities. Come on. You see. Now when I started doing List Perfectly, I was the queen. There was no other service.
Clara:
Literally, now there are many services, even free services. Do you think I let you know, help make me take decisions based on fear? No, never. You know, but it’s discipline. I choose this. I, of course , have doubts. I’m like, Ooh, you know, should I be doing this? Should I be doing that? Should I be trying that it’s the same thing as reselling? The thing is that, are you gonna make it, you need to practice a little awareness and see, where am I coming from? Am I coming from a fear perspective? Or am I making this decision based on my emotions? And I’m the person, you know, that I don’t like to cast on camera. <Laugh>
Clara:
I wanna say one thing that I believe is don’t shit where you eat. That means where you work. You work. Where you have your heart is for your family. Your brain is for your business. Don’t mix. Don’t mix. It doesn’t where you, that’s only my, you know, my, my 2 cents on that in making sure that sometimes on where resellers your personal life and the reselling life will become very tangled. And you’re gonna have the challenge to say, okay, how much is too much work? How much? Because now 12 hours of working for yourself is not like working for a corporation in America. What do you think girls?
Starr:
No. You’re watching TV, and listening to podcasts while you work. It’s nothing.
Kim:
You feel like you. Yeah. And you know, when you’re out, when you’re working at a job, you hate it drains you like four 40 million times faster.
Starr:
I’m not watching the clock anymore. You don’t watch the clock.
Kim:
Yeah. And…
Starr:
I’m not like, oh my God, when can I get off work? I’m just like, can I finish the task that I’m on before I will go eat dinner? And then I need to come back to the office.
Kim:
Because like, when I would get off work, you know, my yucky job, I had nothing left. No, I had nothing. I mean, I mentally, physically, emotionally I was drained every day for after nine hours, but I can, you know, I could sit here and, and cross post and, and do all my other things for 13 or 14 hours and no, but you know, if <laugh>, I took my cold shower yesterday though.
Starr:
Journal lady.
Kim:
I know, you know, that’s something else I wanted to bring up as the fact that, that I am, I am an a, you know, relatively compared to a lot of people, I’m very new at being a full-time reseller. All right. Just being out of this nasty 22-year job that, you know, I hated, and I am learning. I’m learning, learning, just sitting here, talking with you, both of you, ladies, you know, and yesterday I had like this, oh, you know, during stars live about how I can. And this sounds really silly, but I don’t drink enough water. And I’m so bad about not drinking enough water and not disciplining myself to do so. It was so cool because Starr was like, no, get you a cup set that, keep that with you all day. Do you know? And I thought, oh my gosh, that’s it. And here, this is my water jug. It’s 72 ounces…
Clara:
Good for you…
Kim:
…Of water. And I don’t keep anything else near my desk to drink except this now. Yep.
Starr:
You just have, if it’s all with this, there, that’s what you’ll drink.
Clara:
Exactly.
Starr:
I don’t like it either, but well, you guys did see, I did, it’s Friday, so I have an extra iced coffee and this is my special cup.
Clara:
Ah, I love it.
Starr:
Mental health. You guys treat yourselves once in a while. So exactly.
Clara:
Okay. Oh, that’s what I do. I read books. I drink coffee and I, yourself, me…
Starr:
Good, this is my special coffee, iced coffee. And I have every morning and I’m allowed two on Friday.
Clara:
I love it.
Starr:
And it just, this cup makes me happy and it wasn’t that expensive. So, you know, just surround yourselves. I do, this was my ham here that passed away. I have a new hammy. That’s black, her name’s Ashoka, but this was Emmy. She was my other ham. And she passed away. And one of my reselling friends sent me this mug. So this is where I keep all my, so what I’m in my office, even when I’m working, even when I’m anxious, even when I’m having the worst day of my life, I can smile because I’m surrounded and I’m not like a materialistic person.
Clara:
No, no, no, no.
Starr:
But these are small things that bring me joy 18 years old now, but that’s my baby.
Clara:
I love it.
Starr:
You know the baby pictures around. I keep my baby. I’m not a materialistic person. There’s but there are some simple things in life. I like to remember my hamster that passed away. Yeah. I like to remember my kids as babies. I like it, yeah. Baby Yoda. So get, you know, don’t spend a ton of money or do, if you have it and you want to, I don’t care what you do. We talked about that yesterday. Whatever makes you happy.
Kim:
Exactly. You have to treat yourself.
Clara:
These are my medals. Okay. They call it banking. We call it the million. It can’t be seen. Hold on, let me see this one. Let’s…
Starr:
I have my glasses on and I’m squinting.
Clara:
Oh, it’s called a million-dollar club. Okay. Ah, and this is the award that I got. Okay. For always being outstanding. And one of the things says when they give you this medal, okay. What they say, we are, what we repeatedly do excellence then is not an act, but a habit. So the point is, what I’m trying to say is you could have, okay? You could test good habits with very small actions like Kim did, you know, surrounding yourself with the right person. You just witness it on camera, drink more water, simple. <Inaudible>
Starr:
Mm-hmm <affirmative> next to you. Because if, if it’s working, I’m not getting up to go get a soda. I’m exactly. But if there’s water here, I’ll drink it.
Kim:
And thanks to you. Thanks to that live. I did with you that you let me, you know, you had me on yesterday. I had that moment where it was like, oh my God. I mean, it really was that moment for me. Yeah. And I was like, it’s a, it’s just a little thing, but it’s huge for me, you know, because it’s just another step for me getting to where I’m taking better care of myself, because that’s something else you do when you’re not happy or when you’re in a situation that, you know, you’re being drained and you’re not, you know, you don’t take care of yourself.
Clara:
That’s right.
Kim:
I haven’t gotten, and I’ve gotten to the point where I have, I have, I don’t, I haven’t. And I wanna get back to that, to where I’m, you know, putting my, my health, my mental health, my, my physical health, all of it, you know? Yeah. Just making that part of my new world and my new being that I, you know, have become since I left that horrible job and have a purpose.
Starr:
So you have that book list I sent you, right?
Kim:
Yes, I do
Starr:
Kim says she wants to read, but she never finds time to read. And you heard her say she’ll work a couple of hours a day. So my girl to get her music downtime and to read and Hey, I that’s offer is open to anybody. I love, since I was a kid, I’ve always, I’ve gotten in trouble with my parents in school. I love to read, my nose is always in a book. And I read mostly vintage horror, current horror, and cozy mysteries. But if anybody wants recommendations…
Kim:
Yours were great.
Starr:
There’s a free app. You can get on your phone. You can check out books from the library at no cost. You can get Kindle Unlimited. If there’s anything I love to talk about more than reselling the List Perfectly. It’s my movies and my books.
Kim:
Yeah. It’s audiobooks too, though. You don’t, you can, you can check out audiobooks as well with, with the, I guess they already forgot the name. Libby, Libby. Libby. Yeah. Libby the app Libby.
Starr:
Yep. And so you don’t even have to spend any money if you like to read. That offer and movies too. You guys I’ll, I’ll give you I’ll steer you towards good shows and movies if you like horror and stuff like that.
Kim:
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starr:
But everybody takes time. Whether, you know, I can’t say it enough. I don’t care if you like yours, the thing that you do is go outside and sniff flowers. <Laugh> yeah. Or if you read books or play video games, whatever it is, you do, yo, you need to do it, bro.
Clara:
You know, I think I’m sorry. Software. I do software. Okay. So I think in formulas and algorithm, so write these down people for every hour of work, you’re gonna take five minutes, like Starr Bryson said, to smell flowers, to look at outside the green, to call your mama, to look at your red mug and say, wow, what a beautiful month I got for myself, sip. All right. Every hour you have 24 hours a day. This is what you need to do. Eight hours of sleep. Eight hours of fun, eight hours of work. If you go over the fun you go exactly to the method that Starr Bryson said, which is the reward. So one day you will work 10 hours, but the next day, the next day you will work seven and you will reward yourself. This is gonna create you to get you on an efficient treadmill where you’re gonna start thinking more strategically.
Clara:
Not that you’re not doing it right now. Wait, I did not say that. What I’m saying is you can do it even better and it’s not that you’re not doing enough. It’s a matter of perception. Would I ever think, okay. That reselling online. Okay. And being diagnosed early with deformative arthritis, which was the end for me, for goodness sake. I’m a marathon runner. All right. I’m a freaking marathon runner. All right. And I get what early on. I get a freaking, are you kidding me? You know, at that moment I felt like everything was the end. Like, Ooh, what am I gonna do in the end? And guess what? Here we are. Thanks to formative arthritis, desperation. I’m I kid, you know, the desperation we have with Amanda, because I couldn’t type the pain was like Starr said, is debilitating. It’s just, that you can’t sleep. You can’t eat.
Starr:
But it’s not the end. It’s the start of a new book or new chapter.
Clara:
It closes one door. And it opens another one. And you just gotta go with the flow.
Starr:
We’re writing new books, Kim <laugh>
Clara:
And that’s, that’s what I wanna, I wanna share with people, you know what? It could be like the end of something. It was the most beautiful thing I could have ever done. I wanna bring a point also before, you know, because we’re coming to the end, but before, you know, I’m like, okay. People. Yes. Yes. Okay. Look at what’s going on with mental health with COVID. Okay. So look at how it has deteriorated. Okay. So this is not, you know, something, a rumor. Okay. The reality is that COVID has hit us very, very bad, okay. Too many people. Okay. I am grateful. Okay. That I’m in a recession-proof business. You know, and I’m in a very good part of my life, where I have pain management, physical therapy, and many other things that help me. But I just wanna keep you in mind.
Clara:
Okay. That it’s not a joke, as you can see in this chart. Okay. Mental health has deteriorated severely, and it’s a concern. So as a reseller, when you’re not an employee, as a reseller and you are the bosses, maybe you’re working for yourself, or maybe you have employees who are helping you with shipping or something. It’s important. Okay. That you acknowledge that the pandemic okay was tough. It’s important that you understand things are gonna change. You can go back to doing what you were doing, pre-pandemic. You can’t, you can keep your mission. You can keep your vision, but you’re gonna need to tweak things. And this is where your mental health, whereas starts at, you know, water starts with simple things as water, as eating something, you know, like a fried something. Okay. Or things that I have had blood pressure. Oh, a steak with fries and an egg, a fried egg on top. Ha, I’m Argentinian. Oh. With a glass of Malbec. Ha OK. Oh my goodness. Any Malbec that is like 2017. Woohoo. All right. So I, you see, so I, I cannot even explain to you the importance of rewarding and acknowledging that things have been very challenging. Reselling is healing, but it’s not the solution to everything because you’re gonna need to work and you’re gonna work hard, but the results are all for you, right?
Starr:
Mm-hmm <affirmative> <laugh> you are working to line your own pockets, not an executive three floors up.
Clara:
That’s right. That’s right. A seller’s hand says mindfulness is key. Mindfulness comes from living in the presence of awareness of not worrying about the future and falling into the anxiety of not feeling sad about the past and getting depression. So thank you for bringing that up and it’s very, very, very key. You know, some, yeah. Some people blame the pandemic, please. Resellers. Listers. Okay. I’m telling you, I started reselling in 2008. Of course. You know, there was not much competition. Amanda teamed up and we were cranking listings and it was so abundant. If anything right now. Okay. It’s a great time to get ready for Q4. All right. Yes. It’s summer slow. Maybe. Yes, it is a little slow, but it’s about finding what is a good product for summer. So you can shelter the dry days. Okay. And get ready for Q4 because the supply chain is broken.
Clara:
Oh, inflation or recession is it? I have to tell you if you know how to source, it’s the best thing that could happen to us resellers because there is business going out of business every day and you’re doing them a favor by going to their physical business. Hey, can I buy this stuff from you? Guess what? They’re like, please if I don’t get out of here tomorrow, the person that has the lease will take it all over. Understand that you have incredible leverage right now to help businesses. Now you’re gonna think, okay, Ooh, I’m taking advantage of someone. You know, I should be paying more. No, that’s not. If the person is telling you, Hey, I need to get rid of this because in a week, you know, and so forth. So just understand the supply chain is broken. There are businesses, unfortunately, that was not able to pivot. And they wanted to do things as pre-pre-pandemic. And you can’t, especially if you’re brick and mortar. Okay. While that doesn’t mean that there are no brick-and-mortar businesses that are not thriving, Stewart White come and listen to The Seller Community Podcast. <Laugh>
Clara:
But you know, I’ll be honest, you know you know, there are certain businesses, of course, that will thrive and there are other businesses that will not be okay. But this is something that you need to keep in mind. Please get that out of your head. That, because we had a pandemic, okay. Your sales are gonna suck and slow. I’m gonna go back to work for a minute. Okay. All that. I dunno. How do you feel about that, Kim?
Kim:
No, <laugh> don’t do it!
Starr:
This is what I called 2020.
Kim:
Yes. <Laugh>
Starr:
Entirety of that year on my YouTube calling it every day. That is horrible. It’s still better than any day in 2020.
Clara:
Oh, absolutely. Just, just remember inflation and recession. Okay. Are not our enemy. Our enemies, our state of mind, our perception in our ion motivation for resellers yesterday. Starr Bryson, Flipping Hippos with Kim, talks about motivation for resellers to go and listen to it. You know, keep listing, keep listing one listing, keep optimizing listing routine, stop using automated tools. Don’t say, I told you. The growth of your business is automated tools that aren’t designed for big, big, big companies. Are you kidding me? But so don’t get me started. Okay. But again, I’m not against automation, but you can use automation in platforms that do not allow that desperation can bring you to the mentality that you wanna break rules. Okay. So you can sell more. Okay. I’m gonna try it, you know, and then you keep trying it. Oh my God. That’s the definition of insanity. You keep trying the same thing. Like you keep trying the sharing bots because supposedly they’re gonna help you to sell more in posh. Mark, what did I tell you? Okay. So by definition of insanity, we all try that thing. Just catch yourself. That doesn’t mean you’re crazy. That means that you’re doing something crazy and it’s okay to be a little crazy. Sometimes embrace your little crazy side partner yourself. Whether it’s a friend or like Kim, Kim doesn’t have a partner in vintage. I’m sorry. Vintage Koala. Was it?
Kim:
I don’t even know my name. No Koala Trading Company.
Clara:
I’m so sorry. Koala Trading Company. Okay. So Kim doesn’t have a business partner, but guess what? She’s surrounded by a circle that protects her there, you know, and we are surrounded and we surround ourselves at the same time with people like Kim that help us grow. Starr, what would be the best advice that you could give to someone that is starting to resell is feeling lonely and insecure and doesn’t have a supportive circle at the moment?
Starr:
Join a Facebook group.
Clara:
<Laugh> I don’t like Facebook and social media because I don’t like to put my personal life on Facebook. Besides, Facebook is doing stuff that I don’t like. It…
Starr:
That’s a hard one then.
Clara:
We don’t want you on Facebook to share your family photos. We don’t want you on Facebook to tell me, Ooh, I feel happy because I want the lotto just come, just come to the Facebook group. You can be passive.
Starr:
You can be a lurker and learn and reach out. But you, you have to be willing to reach out and look, I’m one of the most private people. I keep a lot of stuff close to the vest, but I’m on YouTube. I have 10, almost 10,000 subscribers. I run a Facebook group and I share a lot about my business. That doesn’t mean I have to tell everybody about both my bad marriages. <Laugh> yeah. You can share what you want and what you don’t want. And you’ll make good friends along the way that you can tell the private stuff too, that you can talk with about your personal stuff. But if you don’t reach out, you’re never gonna find your tribe.
Kim:
Exactly.
Starr:
And if you can afford it, I would always recommend going to one of the events. There you go. This year, there’s one in North Carolina. I’m going to both, but there’s one in North Carolina and there’s one in Vegas. If you can afford it, go, go. Cause that’s where Kim found us. Yes. That’s where I found Kim.
Kim:
My life changed.
Starr:
That’s where I met Clara and Amanda at eBay open. Yeah. That’s where I met Katie and Vikki. I met Cheryl through that and Trish and Diane, like all the people that I’m the closest to that I would consider my tribe. I’ve either met at events or just over time. And I’m not saying you’re gonna go on Facebook today and find your best friend. No, like my closest reselling friends that I talk to every day and probably know just as much about me as Keith does, are folks that I started talking to in 2017 and developed friendships with.
Kim:
Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and, and get on Facebook because I was actually 49 years old before I created my first Facebook account. And the reason I did it was so I could find people that were like-minded where I could find support and give support back because that was when I had started, just started, you know, part-time reselling and you find, you find out real quick, you have got to have that support group. You have to. Yeah. And that was the, you know, I had avoided social media, Facebook, all that for well, you know, ever since I was born up until I was 49 years old because I didn’t want anything to do with that. I didn’t wanna put anything out there. I didn’t want anybody knowing anything. You know? It was ridiculous. But yeah, you have to, I mean, if you want to, to find those other people that you can relate to and have somebody to confide in, well, however you do it, you, you need to reach out and, and, you know, find these people, because…
Starr:
And you’ll learn a lot too, cuz like I’ve actually been picking up knowledge about hard goods when I go thrifting with Cheryl and she’s learning about clothing. So it’s not just about having a friend and confiding, but you’ll have someone to throw ideas off of like, Hey, my sales on eBay are alone. They might say, well, I do promotions this way. Have you ever tried it this way? Or have you ever done it? Like you can bounce ideas off of each other. You can learn from each other and what you source and how you list and how you run your sales and how you price your items. And you’re surrounding yourself with people who get it. It’s not your parents who don’t understand and think you’re a hoarder you’re surrounding <laugh> people who live life and know life and understand life. And these are the people that, again, you can learn from and bounce ideas off of. I can tell Kim one day I don’t feel like working today and I’m not going to, and I’m just having a bad day and she can write back and say really, is that what you teach other people or whatever she wants to say to me, <laugh>
Kim:
You already know I’m gonna tell you…
Clara:
Oh, these two go back and forth.
Starr:
Yeah. So…
Kim:
I know better. <Laugh>
Starr:
It’s great because you make friends, but you make mentors and you make people you’re learning from, but you’re also in it with people who live this life. I can’t talk to anybody. Who’s not a reseller about what it’s like to be a reseller?
Clara:
Yeah.
Starr:
I can’t share my excitement…
Clara:
I should…
Starr:
Rae Dunn finds someone who doesn’t get it, you know?
Clara:
No, I wanna make a t-shirt that, you know, it’s so true. Starr, it’s very true. Kim, why do you think in-person events okay, are so important for resellers?
Kim:
It’s just that, that final puzzle piece kind of, I mean, it’s that we all, we all crave, you know, one on one with, with other humans. I mean, what, even if we are reclusive or we say we don’t like people, it’s human nature. Yeah. And you know, it’s, it’s great to be, you know, on Facebook and you know, and, and networking that way. But once you get in person with, with the people that, you know, get it and get you and it’s, it’s just a whole different level. I can, it’s hard to explain because I remember my first event, which was in October at the resell remix. Yeah. And I was still, I was still part-time. It was like that first evening when we had the meet and greet, I, I, I was so overwhelmed with just the love, the camaraderie, the support. I mean, I, you know, and I wasn’t sad, but I was at the meet and greet where everybody else, you know, was drinking and having fun. I was crying because I was so overwhelmed by that. Just that connection, that final puzzle piece, you know, that the actual, you know, wow. You know, these people are real <laugh>
Starr:
These are my people.
Kim:
I found my peops!
Clara:
I remember meeting Kim and saying, wow, her logic, you know, the way she thinks because she has that science brain. I was like, wow, she is such a perfect thing. You know, for my company, I was like, oh, oh, well, she has to go on her journey. You know, I’ll never forget it. I was like, I hope she makes it, you know, and see, because sometimes, you know, people go back, you know, to corporate America. It’s not for everybody, you know? So it was just an incredible event. As you said, the chemistry we felt, I felt like when I sit down around you, you know, and we just definitely knew that we were clicking. And so…
Kim:
Gosh…
Clara:
That’s guys. That’s how I met Kim. Now she’s a List Perfectly team member. Mm-Hmm <affirmative>, that’s how I met Starr in eBay Open 2019 changed my life…
Starr:
- Yeah. Yeah. But I remember last year, one of my favorite memories last year most of, you know, I lost my voice.
Kim:
Yeah.
Starr:
So yeah, I was on a panel and I was a speaker and I had no voice. And so I was whispering in half sign language to why am I having a brain fart? Leslie, Leslie, I love Liz. And she and Doug were trying to understand what I was trying to say and like translate. But yeah. I spent a lot of last year frustrated because no one could hear me and I wanted to have so much to say, and I could just be like…I remember Clara came. I was in there registering Clara, came running out of the main building and she just grabbed me in this great big hug. And she was bouncing me up and down. And it was like we love you and I was like oh my God they love me! Clara’s a big hugger. And she will squeeze you and pick you up.
Clara:
Yep.
Starr:
Amanda’s so calm. And then like at the party, yeah. Clara comes running to me and she’s like, look at my shirt, La Jefa! And, and Amanda’s like, she’s like in a nice blazer and a t-shirt and she’s all,
Speaker 5:
Oh, I got her that t-shirt because of Amanda, you know, a typical clothing reseller. So she didn’t want to wear it, I don’t want that. I don’t like, I’m like, Amanda, you gotta dress up like a CEO, not like a reseller, you know…that you got, okay, let’s get you at least a t-shirt that you like. And then we found the t-shirt and said HISS instead of KISS with the, with the, with the, the face painting, like if it was KISS members, I know. And then she liked that shirt…
Starr:
And she had her blazer on. Amanda, every time I see her, always has that really infectious grin on her face, but she’s still quiet. She just smiles.
Clara:
Yeah. No total introvert, total introvert.
Starr:
Yeah. but that some of my best memories from, you know, all these events are with people that I’m still friends with today that I’ve connected with, that I’ve remained in contact with. Yeah. So that, I mean, not everyone can afford to go to the events, but I would say if you can, that’s probably the best way to find your people. And if you are reclusive, if you are a hermit like me or Kim or Amanda, these are folks that you can connect with that you can stay in contact with all year. You can talk to them every single day, but you don’t have to leave the house or meet them in public or go to them. These are people that you can be around all the time and make these deep connections and friendships without having to leave your house. It’s, it’s very comforting friendship for people who, who don’t, who are like me <laugh>, you know? Yeah. and then you can see them once a year and then you can go home and recoup for two months and yeah.
Kim:
Everybody gets it though. It’s like, we understand each other so well that there’s no insecurity either. You know? It’s like, well, I haven’t heard from her for a week. It’s no, it’s like, oh, well, you know, I mean, it’s, we just understand each other and it’s really cool.
Starr:
Yeah. I’m like a cat. And I was saying that in my live show yesterday, I like to go to events, but it takes me two months to mentally recuperate and get over the anxiety. When I get home. I love it while I’m there. Absolutely. And I am approachable. I have resting bitch face <laugh> <laugh> and I get anxious in the, and in situations and a lot of YouTubers do. So, you know, just because we’re on YouTube, doesn’t mean we’re in all the time in person. But if you see me and I’m like that, that’s my stupid face. <Laugh> I’m personal, come to say hi. I just look at me and I promise I don’t buy <laugh>
Clara:
We’re all the same. We’re resellers. You know, the fact that I have to fly five hours and a half. Okay. He’s like, oh, you know, you gotta understand that from Argentina. It takes me 18 hours. Okay. Just to land in the capital. Then I have to take another. I have to take three planes okay. To arrive where I come from. Okay. So you know, it’s like airplanes, I have flown so much. And as a reseller, I also flew internationally. So I really am like, Ugh. Another airplane.
Starr:
Flying gives me anxiety. And I’m actually afraid of it. Like the first, the first Open I went to without Keith, I just felt like I was gonna throw up the whole time. I couldn’t believe I was in the airport alone and had a bad back. I had to check my luggage cuz I can’t lift it.
Clara:
Yeah.
Starr:
And I just, yeah, I was like, this is too much. I can’t fly alone. I’m gonna die. This plane’s gonna go down. I’m like, so yeah. I mean, I deal with a lot of anxiety about these events, but I bring a book and then read on the plane and that’s how I cope. But just know you’re not alone. If you get there, it’s worth it. So even if you have anxiety about traveling or flying or being nervous about coming alone or not knowing anybody, once you are there, it all goes away.
Kim:
Yes, exactly. Oh, wait. Absolutely. I can attest to that. Because I went by myself. I flew by myself. I got there by myself. It is, but you’re not alone. <Laugh>
Starr:
But now I do it on my own two, two to six to eight, 10 times a year. Wow. Cause Keith doesn’t go to any of these events. He’s more reclusive than I am, but I do what I have to do. I check my luggage cuz I can’t with my back and I bring books. I still get anxious. Like you can even see right now. I’m just thinking about it. Like I’m leaving for my God.
Kim:
But you overcome it and you do it anyway and that’s huge.
Clara:
And have your book that makes you happy.
Starr:
Yes. And the flight back, you’re just so exhausted, but you aren’t approachable. I’m like a Chihuahua. I just look small and mean, but I’m really…
Kim:
No, you don’t <laugh> yeah. Starr and I are sitting together looking small and mean we’re approachable. We’re just, we’re tired. <Laugh>
Starr:
I just have that kind of a face.
Kim:
No.
Clara:
Come and hang out with us. Okay. We are your family, the reseller community is your family just reach out. It’s like any family, you’re gonna have family members that you’re close. You’re gonna have family members that you’re not so close. Just cherry pick. Okay. There is abundance. And whether you’re gonna do it virtual or you’re gonna do it in person, just know that that’s the best thing you can do for your reseller mental health. Thank you star. Thank you Kim. Thank you. Beautiful audience. Thank you so much.
Starr:
Thanks for having me. Thanks guys.
Kim:
Thanks!